Welcome, fellow warriors, lovers, seekers, and dreamers. Welcome to the weary and brave, who travel through this life longing for more, who desperately search for who they are meant to be. Welcome to those whose destinies have already been written in the Blood.
I have to confess I am an introvert, yet I love to be with people and watch them. The stories of their lives fascinate me with their joys and sorrows, their choices and experiences and their loves and dislikes. I am also gonna confess that if you are reading this thinking this is just another lifestyle blog written by a twenty-something young christian woman about food, fitness and raising babies, than you are mistaken. I love those types of blogs. I read them. They inspire me. But that is not what I write, at least thats not all of what I write.
I write a lot about blood and war. I write about goodness and evil, darkness and light and all of the epic stories in between. I’m probably gonna write about sex. I might shock you with the reality of the supernatural world. And mostly I hope to be fearlessly and brutally honest. I spend a lot of time in my head, imagining worlds beyond this one. I also spend a lot of time in my head fighting the battles the enemy throws at me. I know I am not alone in this. I strive to live between the tension of truth and mercy. In mercy there is love, but in truth there is freedom. I pray in all the words I write that love and truth are so entangled that the reader cannot see where one begins and the others ends.
I am from Texas. Yes, that big ol’ state of wildflowers, cowboys, leather boots, friday night lights and hellish heat. I love the heritage I was born into of deep southern faith, high idealism and family values. I’m not so found of the arrogant, stubborn pride and self-entitlement that comes with it. I know that probably hits on all my fellow Texans’ sore spots, but come on lets be honest, we all struggle with it. We love our independence and hate being told when we are wrong. I say this to share one of my most vulnerable struggles: fear of God not being good. Now how does that relate to pride, you ask? Well, to fear God’s innate goodness one must than find goodness somewhere else aka within oneself, purpose within oneself, comfort and strength within one’s own abilities. When you do this you set yourself up to be your own god. And trust me when I say, you will always fail yourself. And so, this Texan raised kid is on a journey to be a kingdom shaped adult, whose will is surrendered to the monarchy of heaven and whose heart fully trusts in the goodness of heaven’s King. This a reverberating melody throughout everything I write.
I am also a mother and a wife. I have four golden-haired angel babies, Isabelle, Benjamin, Abraham and Elijah. Their smiles and laughter are like cracks of heaven opening and pouring out joy from eternity.
Despite the glory of their existence and the miracle of their creation, they also carry the death of sin in their hearts, just as I did sometimes still do. The reality of their brokenness only makes me love them more. It is a privilege to be their mother and to be given the responsibility of speaking promises and destiny over their lives.
I am also married to my college sweetheart, Philip. It’s been 9 years since we made covenant to each other, surrounded by family, community and presence of heaven.
Life with Phil is a never ending adventure. He is a man that loves with unrelenting and fearless strength. He leads and guides our family with tenderness and grace, but also with firmness and vision. He is faithful friend to his community. He honors people’s hearts. He selflessly sees the good in everyone.
He champions me in my struggles and challenges me in my weak places. He nurtures my dreams and encourages my passions. He is my best friend in the entire world. We dream together and fight for each other and our children. Some of our greatest joys in life is watching each other change and become different than what we were and more like who we were designed to be. Though sometimes kicking and screaming, other times willingly eager, we press into those places of confession and vulnerability and fearlessly bare our souls to one another. With him I have found partner and a lover to walk hand in hand through life.
We learned early on that in intimacy there is victory and we fight for it before selfishness and each other’s hearts before our own desires. Our sinful natures are both exposed and forgiven and our best and our worst have been seen and are yet to be seen. We fiercely cling to mercy and fearlessly choose to speak to truth to one another even when it hurts. I share this because I’m still in the midst of it. Nine years young is what we say. Our marriage is like a nine-year-old child: they have grasped several years of learning and education in grade school, they can take care of themselves more efficiently, communicate clearly, understand larger concepts and basically have figured out a lot of foundational aspects to being human. But a nine-year-old is still a kid with a lot of school left to finish. That’s how our marriage is and I look forward to the many, many years to come and the stories that will be inspired from it.
Life is a story and it is an adventure to be lived. Life is meant to be experienced and it is also meant to be learned. Stories shape our lives and out of my life have come and will come many stories, real ones and the ones I create. Hope you enjoyed reading a little taste of who I am and what I am about.
I hope my readers enjoy the stories here and feel a deeper invitation to step into a bigger story of what life can be and is about.